Japanese

There's lots of cool japanese art and picture sites out there. Unfortunately, I can't read any of it. I tried to teach myself japanese years ago.. but was eventually stymied, mostly by verb tenses. I need to find someone who reads fluent japanese to translate these things for me. Anybody out there?

On another note, got that extended return of the king dvd today. The movies are somewhat poignant for me, as my dad was always a huge lotr fan. He was excited about the movies and we went to see the first one, but he never got to see the last two. Things left undone.

Tree time!

I'm so sore. All over. Yesterday I woke up with an inclination to get all creative and stuff. So, I went and got a paint sprayer, a gallon of black latex housepaint, and a fake xmas tree. Branch by branch, I sprayed that tree down and hung it up on a clothesline in the backyard. It took 3 hours to spray the whole tree... but now it's complete. I have a black xmas tree! Yay!

Foolishly, I put the lights on before testing the string, and half of them don't work. I'll have to replace the whole lot. I also need to get some dark red ornaments. The only ones I've seen so far are those cheap orange-red ones, and that just won't work. I'll try to get a picture of it up somewhere when it's done.

... o gothmas tree, o gothmas treeee... how mordant are your branches....

o.. m.. g..

Just got in from a walk. Really windy today and a cold front came in so it's quite nippy out. Ears hurt. Anyway, the sky was really cool.. just a purplish gray with smudges of darker purplish blue clouds. About all the leaves that can fall have fallen by now. I don't like being cold, but I enjoy the stark beauty of winter. Bare branch silhuoettes on a whitish gray sky. Just lovely. I could stare at it for hours.. if I didn't get so cold.

Got another fake today. After hours of 'interviewing' her, turns out she wouldn't talk on the phone. Afraid of being stalked. If you're interested in putting your life in someone else's hands having them control you utterly, a phone call is the least of your concerns. So I turned on my webcam to see if that would calm her down. She didn't have a cam on her end, but it seems that 'she' had left 'her' microphone on. Startled guy talking in a high-pitched voice. Classy.

I never, ever talk to someone for long without phone confirmation. I don't care if you haven't paid your bill or if you have a crippling phobia of tangled phone cords.. if you want to be someone's slave for real, you find a way to get to a phone. Otherwise, to me, you're a guy jerking off. Is that cynical and jaded of me to not be trusting? Sorry. That's the way it is.

cubby hole

Decided today to clear out this closet/pantry that's in a hallway underneath the stairs. It's about 10 feet deep and gets smaller all the way to the back, as it's underneath the stairs. It's been full of junk-mostly cleaning stuff-for ages. It's also where all of the xmas stuff has traditionally been stored. I got it all and nice and emptied out. I stood there and realized that an eyebolt put into the studs way in the back would make for a nice, dark, cozy cubbyhole for someone. Just stick em in there, lock the chain, and let em relax. I like it!

iii'm dreaming.. of a whiiite.. chameleon?

So, it's about that time of year. Happy to say most of my xmas shopping is done (Note, I intentionally refuse to type 'Christmas' the majority of the time. You can see where my mind's at). I haven't put up any lights or a tree in many a year.. not since I was a child.. so I thought I'd put up a few lights this year. Just to spruce things up. I bought some lights, shimmied up the ladder to find a whole ton of wet leaves, sticks, acorns, and about an acre of very healthy moss growing on my roof. I have nothing against moss. I like moss. I'm a moss kinda person. But it just won't do to have it on my roof. So I spent about an hour and a half scraping and sweeping, and was thoroughly exhausted by the time it was done. Then I leaned over the edge to start hanging the lights, which I'm pleased to say went off without misshap. I hope they look okay in the dark. To add insult to injury, about halfway through the sweeping, I got an old song stuck in my head which I had to keep singing the entire time.

see the chameleon
lying there in the sun
all things to everyone
run, run away

You try getting that out of your head once it's firmly wedged in there.

On another note. Went with some friends to a xmas comedy show that's put on yearly by a local acting troupe called red octopus. Bizarre but funny. It's held a pizza place/micro brewery.. the kind of place where local bands try to make a name for themselves and there's amateur paintings (mostly all bad) for sale on the walls. Now, I'm not much of a public drinker. In fact, I pretty much only drink to get pretty well buzzed, which is very rare and almost always in private. There are few things more boring to me than sitting around a little bar table with friends for a couple hours while they merrily down pitchers of beer, waiting until they get tired and drunk enough to disperse. It's kind of like waiting in a doctor's office for a long time. Except the doctor's office has more comfortable chairs.

Oh yeah, also went to a local craft show that's held every year. It's a pretty high quality of craft stuff, and I got some nice things to add to my hoard of objects. Being me, I certainly do feel out of place at those things, though. Poor, friendly folksy people from the Ozarks confronted with weirdness like me. But at least I got a pretty porcelain egg with roses painted on it. I do go for that ultra-femmy, grandmotherly stuff, sometimes.

*gobble gobble*

Well, it's another holiday.
Last weekend I hosted another party. I was told by the same young woman (who is domme and has lovely ideas concerning puppygirls) who felt presences last time that I have ghost cats running around the place. This does not surprise me, considering all the cats my whole family has had over the years. Later, after everyone else had left, I had a scene with a lovely girl, and I hoped it met her satisfaction. Focused in large part on beating her feet, like with rulers and canes, which she seems to enjoy. Afterwards it was pretty late and I offered to let her sleep here rather than drive an hour back home. You know, I've only slept in a bed with someone else a few times in my life... definately something with which I need practice. I guess it's just something you get used to. All night when I had to shift position I did so slowly and carefully so as not to disturb her. I guess that was more considerate than needed, seeing as it was my bed and all and I could flop to my heart's desire, but I did want her to get a decent rest and all. Anyway, she later told me that I talk in my sleep. How the heck am I supposed to keep secrets if I talk in my sleep?? How am I supposed to plot cruel plans against my bedmate if I divulge everything between snores? I guess I'll know if I wake to find them cowering against the bedpost in the morning.

On the subject of ghost cats. I don't know if hearing that got me to thinking about them and wedged the thoughts in my subconscious, but I had a dream about them a couple of nights ago. Dreamed I woke up to find several of my past cats in my bedroom, just lounging. Normally when I dream of someone or something deceased there is an unreal quality to them.. usually in a dream I'm not even aware that they've been dead. They're just dream actors playing the parts, made up of memory and no more substantial than a 2D paper doll. Sometimes though, very rarely, there's a difference. It's as if they're as real as anything in waking life. This dream was like that. I knew they were dead, but there they were, and they seemed to be aware of me in a very non-dreamlike way. And I could even touch them again, just for a few minutes, pet them and scratch them and roll them about on my bed. I was so happy I could feel them again that I was crying my eyes out. I then woke up very happy.

Was it just a regular dream? Was it something more? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know.

I had another dream last night.. some weird, religious dream where I was in church and a priest punished by sending me to some dungeon where supposedly I was to be tortured until I repented, but it all seemed pretty fun to me. Mostly, I remembered a gagged woman straddling me, and her saliva fell like sticky, dewdrop rain onto my face.. eventually so much that I couldn't see anything but I was enjoying myself. I woke up giggling.

Oh yes.. happy thanksgiving to all and to all a good night.

What's new

Ugh.. all you can eat mongolian grill should be illegal or something. Too full.

Spent the start of the month fairly depressed about all the election stuff. I don't much like the idea of being ruled by the whims of the insanely religious. After all, unrepentent degenerate elite people like me would become kindling if they could have their way. Obviously it won't get that bad, and obviously not everyone who voted for Bush feels that way.. only a minority. But I fear that that strong, powerful minority (the so called swing voters) to which the prez is beholden *does* feel that way. The ones who feel it is their sworn duty to turn the world into their own mirror image. Saw an interview with a family of these people who voted solely on 'moral value' rather than on any real issue, and their little girl, probably 7 or 8 years old, was praying that the world would end so that she could get all raptured up. What kind of life must a little girl have to hope so fervently that it would all end in hopes of something better? Through what horrible lenses has the child been taught to see the world, to view it as so ugly that it can't end soon enough? Life is worth living! It's a beautiful, wonderful thing even when it's not so great. Even a filthy, godless, degenerate pervert like me can see that. But I'm at peace with myself. Are they, I wonder? And if they are, why can't they accept that my peace is just as valid as theirs? Ah well.

On a happier note, I finally got some ring bolts installed in a couple ceilings... but I want more, more, more! Need to put up a coatrack to hang my floggy toys.

Someone sensitive to these things told me that my house is haunted. Figures. I guess it doesn't matter, so long as I don't bump into somebody in the hallway in the middle of the night.

Yesterday upon the stair, I saw a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
Oh, how I wish he'd go away.