I do so love Halloween. To this day I still carve a pumpkin and set up decorations. I even have these cool gravestones to set up in the yard, but I didn't this year because a lot of their lawn spikes are broken and I didn't think of a workaround in time. Sadly, my street is a little out of the way and so I never get many trick-or-treaters. But I always have candy ready just in case. One year I answered the door as Death and the children ran screaming! Good times, good times. Anyway, perhaps these old-timey greeting cards will help get you in the proper spirit.
Wait... Onion women? Cucumber men?
Gourd golems preparing a layer cake?
Is that pumpkin... eating pumpkin pie? That's outright cannibalism! Macabre, I grant you, but still.
What's with all the chestnuts? While I certainly wouldn't want to meet the Chestnuts of Despair in a dark alley, I feel like something is missing here. Did Halloween used to feature a lot of lettuce and nuts?
A procession of cats in funny hats, now that's a little better. Certainly an improvement over vegetables.
Ah, now we're getting somewhere. But still I feel there's something missing..
Aha! Bondage. There we go.