Tuesday, May 15, 2007

May tears

Today I've been moving books to and fro;  crumbly, centuries old books.  I'm covered with book dust.  So, I tried the extension ladder thing, but it didn't work.  It was just too long.  I went Home Depot, but all they had were more of the same.  So I had to order ladder online to be able to access the higher shelves.

I also looked at google satellite maps today.  It's neat to be able to see my house--even my car parked in the driveway--from space, and to trace my walking path through the streets and woods.  I also looked up my grandparents' old lakehouse in Hot Springs, looking at where I used to play in the water 25 years ago. 

Currently, I'm a little drunk, and I'm crying a lot.  But I'm not crying out of sadness.  Rather, it's tears of regret/compassion for the whole, damned human race.  For all the evil we do, and all the evil we've done, maybe all that's left in the end is our love, and what we've meant to the ones we've loved in return.  Maybe that's all we mean, in the end. 

Maybe that's enough.

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